"...then SHE said..."

Femmes, we're almost all guilty of this-

"Your mum's sister's cousin's father's daughter's adopted son's father's ex-wife told me you got married to Eve."   - Pappa Razi on Gossip

That's right, you guessed it, GOSSIP. The sinful yet at times delightful pastime. It is very common in social gatherings to have a bit of gossiping going on (that includes you masculine-of-center folk too!!). Working in a place of 100+ women, Natasha and I both find ourselves encountering it often, and are even guilty of it at times. However I quite often tend to hear people say "I'm not gossiping, i'm venting". So what's the difference? When does Venting become Gossiping? and when does gossiping go from harmless to harmful?

Definitions (based on dictionary.com):

Gossiping:
Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature
Trivial, chatty talk, or writing
A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts

Venting:
To express (one's thoughts or feelings, for example), especially forcefully
A means of escape or release from confinement; an outlet: to give vent to one's anger

What's the difference?

* If you are talking about things that don't directly affect you (like someone else's affair)... That is Gossiping

* If you are discussing things with others about a person/group that has not been confirmed as fact or that is private... That is Gossiping

* If you talk to anyone who will listen to your problem with said person/group... That is Gossiping

* If you confide your woes to a given person regarding another person/group in hopes of reaching a SOLUTION... That is Venting

*??* It is debateable that it is considered Gossiping if you confide in someone who knows the person/group you are talking about , even if your intent is to find a solution. Whereas if you do so with a third party, someone unbiased, then it is Venting. I'm torn on this one...what do YOU think??

Basically, gossiping is more about self satisfaction, whereas venting is more about finiding a solution therefore extending beyond the self.

When does Gossip go from harmless to harmful?

This is subjective really, as what one person may consider harmless another may consider harmful.
Many of us are guilty of gossiping to loved ones about people we run into, coworkers, friends, lovers...etc GENERALLY without malicious intent in our hearts. Some of us enjoy some celebrity gossip here and there, I confess if it has to do with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie I will read it!! and now Katie Holmes/Crazy Tom split. What it comes down to is, we are all adults capable of making our own judgement calls. For the time being I have taken it upon myself to drop my occasional gossiping about people I know... Now hand me that People's Magazine!!!!

-Written by: Aliya Valentine