Hi all! It’s been a while since I’ve written. Some of you
may know that I just got married a month ago today, so Les Femmes has been on a
bit of a hiatus. Well, we’re back now and in perfect time it seems… So, I take
it you’ve heard of the drama with Abercrombie & Fitch? If you haven’t,
here’s a summary-
CEO of A&F flat-out stated his company will not make
clothing for what he considers to be “fat” women because it’s not “cool”, and
he only wants cool people to wear his clothes. As for men? The only reason he
allows his company to make bigger sizes is to appeal to male athletes who may
have a slightly bigger build. Um…what about female athletes? No, no, only male
athletes.
You can read the full article here;
After that surfaced, many people were outraged and
retaliated with different comments & in different ways. I happened to catch
this snippet of Ellen retaliating with her witty humor-
Now as awesome as that was, and as much as I enjoyed it, there's one part where Ellen went wrong... she did what is called "Skinny shaming" in order to emphasize support of fuller body images. I'm sure that wasn't her intention...but that's the thing about female body shaming or body bashing, it's a wolf in sheep's clothing... we can all fall into it be it intentionally or not.
This article is a reminder that body bashing is body bashing no matter what context it is in!! We all have different body shapes, we were all built differently and thanks to societal conditioning & other issues we pretty much all have insecurities. I am not here to debate which happens more, I am here to state that it HAPPENS and it is wrong in any form. We need to learn to be supportive of one another, and see beauty in all shapes & colors...In different cultures, different body types are considered the epitome of beauty... but what about women culture? As our own group we must teach ourselves & others to love the diversity and not let anyone tell US what WE should perceive as beautiful.
I happen to know quite a few female athletes, and from having conversations with them have heard different stories about how their mother, ex-girl friend/boyfriend/current significant other & at times friends have said things to them about their "lack of femininity" and making comments such as "Ew, your arms are huge! They're disgusting" or "aren't you worried that no one is going to want to be with you?" Well, not for nothing but I can say that these ladies have game (in more ways than one ;) ). As my Grandma would say "Who made all these rules anyway?"
As for being "Fat"- this is for my lovely full figured ladies;
Fat Shaming has been no secret. Girls who don't fit in to the media version of "Slim & Sexy" have been bullied and made to feel lesser than for a long time. This is wrong!! (duh) I have heard such harsh and cruel things said to and about these ladies...sometimes by themselves. Self hate is a whole other demon brought on by society... But I have to say I have been fortunate enough to meet women who love their bodies and who are taking back the word "Fat" and making it their own stamp of beauty & self love!! You go ladies!!!!
As for skinny shaming- I think a lot of times people automatically think of the "media version" of skinny which is accompanied by big breasts, tiny waist and the perfect sized butt... . Well there are different kinds of skinny. I have heard from ladies who feel self conscious due to their "teenage boy" figure, or have had to deal with constantly being harassed, stalked and followed due to having that skinny but curvy figure... these women have also been outcast usually by fellow women feeling "threatened" and therefore also been hated on and called things such as "slut" "whore" "skinny bitch" "boyfriend/husband stealer" "girlfriend/wife stealer" and so on.
We all have different body types for different reasons. We have different bone structure, different metabolisms, different genes, different medical backgrounds & different lifestyles. Whatever yours may be, be mindful of what judgement you pass onto yourself and onto others. What we do with our bodies is our choice, and I would love to say the important part is to be healthy, but that would be hypocritical of me as I am not the healthiest eater...but I have gotten better & come a long way from what I call "The College Student's Diet" haha. What I can say though is do right by YOU...whatever and however that may be.
*Note: I am not saying don't try to be healthy... But I can't be all preachy when I myself have had to work up to being a healthy eater... and healthy isn't eating air...healthy is watching the QUALITY of food you put in your body.
So ladies, just remember some women are petite, some full figured, some athletic, some tall, some short... stop bashing each other, instead, help one another stand against those who do. We can be supportive without tearing down someone else. Educate people...and if they refuse to become educated, that's on them... they obviously have their own demons to work with. Don't shut each other out because you think women from a different body group than yours can't understand you... reach out and help each other understand. Love yourselves & surround yourselves with love.
We are all beautiful in our own unique way <3 <3
Much Love-
Aliya Valentine
Les Femmes
